Having lived in North East England for just over four weeks now, it is
safe to say I finally have an understanding of & near ability to
fluently speak the language. While I still often get funny looks,
learning these common words/phrases has greatly helped my ability to fit in; perhaps
even, survive. It is only fair I share this information that has proven
quite advantageous.
Common English Vernacular:
Appropriate Adjectives
Mint--Better than cool, synonymous with "fresh" as defined by The Fresh Prince of Bell Air. Used to deem something quite impressive. Trendy to say. "Your electric blue scooter is mint".
Rubbish--Trash, no good, lousy. "Ah gross, this food is rubbish."
Brilliant--Incredible! Synonymous to "mint", but used more in less-casual conversations or when referring to a player in a futbol match. "Did you see Rooney's goal? It was brilliant!"
Class--Cool; on an elevated level of goodness; exceptional; mint. Often used differently than the three words before. "That Thunder snap-back of yours is proper class."
Posh--A term referring to the wealthy people (and their accent) from the greater London area. Also used as a label for any rich person/area/establishment in England. "All you Americans speak with a posh British accent, just like the Queen."
Essential Exchanges
Cheers--Equivalent of America's "have a good day", "thank you", and "see ya" condense into one concise word. What one says to the bus driver upon hopping off the bus. "Cheers!"
Alright?--Always asked upon initially seeing a person. Equivalent of the overly used "Hey, how are you?" that American's say to one another in passing. Proper response to this greeting is still uncertain, due in part because the one-word question "Alright?" always throws me off.
Can I help?--Same implications as "can i help you?" only the "you" is left off. Upon entering a local shop, bakery workers instantly ask this over and over until a response of "yeah i will have..." is given. A catalyst for stressful feelings. "Can I help?" American Response: "Umm...ahh...uhh...i...will...have...what's a Yum Yum?"
Popular Phrases
Funny as, cool as, mint as--to deem something as incredibly funny, cool, or mint. that's it, nothing is said after "as".
Loads of--lots of; many; mucho; a significant amount of something. "I've got loads of time on my hands."
Proper--right; real/genuine; meeting the classification to the fullest extent. Used before words such as class, mint, etc. "Your new England kit is proper class."
Can't be bothered--don't have time for; can't and won't concern oneself with the woes of the moment. "My turtle escaped from his shoebox containment today, but I can't be bothered by it."
Nouns & Things Around Town
Trainers--tennis shoes; automatically cooler when called "trainers". "Hey mate, check out my new trainers!"
Jumper--sweatshirt or sweater. "Hey i really like your 90's Alaska jumper, it's quite stylish."
Kit--a futbol uniform set--jersey, shorts, socks. Most often just referring to to the jersey. "Can I wear your England kit when we go to the Cleveland Bay pub for the match tonight?"
Footie--A term for smaller scale, casual futbol (as in soccer). "Hey do you kids want to play England vs America footie?"
Toilet--used to refer to the restroom; on all the signs in establishments, but often not free for non-paying customers. Never say bathroom, for it will result in awkward stares and concerned faces perplexed as to why you are asking where you can take a bath in a restaurant. "Excuse me, could you tell me where the toilet is?"
Car park--parking lot; NOT a parking garage. "I can never seem to remember where my car is in large car parks."
Take away--equivalent of "to go". Found on the signs of many restaurants. "That Fish & Chips restaurant has take away, shall we go there right quick?"
To let--Available to rent. Signs all over buildings advertise with "to let" followed by a number, the equivalent of America's signs "apartment/space for rent". "I am looking for a new flat to let, do you know of any in Hartburn?"
Youchube/Twit-ta--How British people pronounce "Youtube" and "Twitter". Quite comical. Same implications as America's perception of Youtube and Twitter. "You American's say Youchube and Twitta funny."
People As Places As People
Mims--A variation/derivative of Miriam; multiple British friends call me this, yet did not collaborate on the "nick-name". "Hey Mims, would you like any tea?"
Scene Kids--A term to classify "hipsters". Trendy, funky hair, want-to-be-seen & always a part of "the scene" kids. Nearly all British kids are "hipsters" by American standards; however, their classification of "scene kid" takes our "hipster" and amplifies it by four times. "Does the combination of this scarf, vintage glasses, & fedora make me look more like a scene kid?"
University (Uni)--equivalent of the term we often use to describe University, College; however, England's college is the equivalent of a combination of America's 11th/12th grade and technical school. "I am twenty and go to Uni in Arkansas."
Lads/Mates--used to refer to a friend or group of friends/people. "Sam's mates from Uni will surely be in his wedding some day."
Tesco-big-as-a-village--Tesco is parallel to America's Target, smaller scale than America's Wal-mart but just as populous, and as local feeling as Fayetteville's Harps. The Tesco-big-as-a-village refers to the giant Tesco found in the Stockton area. "We should go to Tesco-big-as-a-village so I can get some Cadbury Chocolate and you can get a cute new shirt all at the same time."
Facts of Fun:
They don't believe in ice.
There are no graham crackers in this country.
You can always tell a Brit by their trousers.
The sun doesn't set til at least 10pm.
All the kids ride around on scooters.